How Dumb Are The Illinois Republicans? This Dumb.

Jesus' General

The Illinois Republicans put Jack Ryan up against Barack Obama for the Senate. Ryan had to step down when it was revealed that he took his wife (Jeri Ryan of Star Trek: Voyager fame) to sex clubs in order to obtain audiences for their conjugation.

Then they put Alan Keyes up for the contest, who's nothing more than a laughingstock.

Then a blogger called JC Christian wrote one of the prominent Republicans in the state in his spoof mode. JC Christian pretends to be a general who's very manly and not at all hetrosexually challenged, not even when perusing his extensive collection of gladiator movies at length. He's also quite the Republican, and so the good General gave the Republican quite a tonguelashing. He suggested getting rid of Keyes and recruiting Ted Nugent. How did he suggest getting rid of Keyes? Like this:

No time for private investigators. You have to do it yourselves--you broke it; you fix it. I'm thinking of a three way at a Cubs game. As for staging, the photos would look best with Sen. Syverson taking him from behind and Sen. Rauschenberger going down on him, but I guess that part is really up to you.

Well, Senator Syverson responded to the letter. Not in contempt, but as if the General had actually raised some points, which the good Senator hastened to clarify. He even suggested that if the General had floated his name, the search committee would have talked to him.

This may go down as the best prank letter in history. The General has already volunteered to run in Illinois and promises to use his extensive contacts (readership) to gain the funds necessary. If this numbskull responds back, I'm going to volunteer to raise funds in Tennessee.